I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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