I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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