What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
