this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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