just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
