BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
