am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But break dance skills will only take you so far
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
