do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
