I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
