Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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