First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
