do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
