Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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