What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
