i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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