oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
