So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
