You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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