Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
