My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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