it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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