so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
