I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
