Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
