I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
