Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
what day is it and did you see me today?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
