I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
