I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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