So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
