shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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