Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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