Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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