just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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