Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
