We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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