I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
