My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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