you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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