EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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