he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
