My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
