You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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