Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
40s are totally the cure
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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