I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
