I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
