So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
