Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
