Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
