Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
