Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
