super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
